Founder's Desk: Levelling the Field
No, this post is not about Diversity or representation for Women. Though that is what we at FlexiBees do for a living. We already know there is a vast amount of work to be done to level the field of work for Women, and we, together with others, are hard at work doing just that.
There is another kind of levelling that bothers me. And rather than sharing my advice, I will share some worries with you today. Because, as a fellow founder - you might be thinking about these too.
I was a textbook case of confidence in situations which involved - well, the textbook. Given a job role, though, I used to plummet. Not ruffling feathers and “being agreeable” had their advantages. I felt safe.
As you can guess, something fundamental was wrong, and it took some time and work to set the balance right.
With the wisdom of hindsight, I now know how the poisonous weed of under-confidence shows up at work.
Communication versus Conviction
I used to think that my own under-confidence was a deficit in communication. But in reality, it was a deficit in conviction. Second-guessing oneself can become a vicious cycle and result in losing trust. In what we believe in and stand for. I call this “gas-lighting” one-self.
I have witnessed many “learnings” that could have been prevented - had I dipped into my conviction rather than rely on logic or communication.
The effect of under-confidence, of course, is most pronounced in mixed-gender environments. Women often face backlash for speaking up at work, and this conditioning likely makes overcoming under-confidence harder for Women in general.*
But I also worry about it in a same-gender and technically safe space like FlexiBees. We have diversity in function, skill areas, ways of thinking, working, and timing of work, given we live our vision of flexibility.
I am training myself to ask for the background thinking of a person when it is not presented obviously. When the solution does not make sense at first, yet she has been vulnerable enough to share it. Usually, the faith comes out when we dig deeper beyond communication.
The cost of martyrdom
When things become challenging, it is easy to rationalize not following through on an idea. Also, is it not selfish to be uncompromising in our stance?
Not entirely. We bring to each situation the entirety of our lifetime's experience and knowledge. Whether we are able to explain it or not, there is a truth emanating from our unique wisdom. What we say need not always be the best course of action. But it is required because the situation needs each truth to be expressed. For others to add on, and ultimately to build everyone up.
This is the actual cost of martyrdom - not only the individual but the group also loses out.
A big worry is, am I missing a fainter voice? Or a voice carrying the gem of insight only if we allow its expression. Oftentimes there is a timeliness to decisions and practicality to consider.
However, I am practising poking at and bringing out dissent more proactively. Even if it cannot be solved entirely.
Ready or not
I have felt like an imposter in many situations, even while being amongst the most capable in the room. Imposter syndrome bites everyone. But according to a KPMG study, a staggering 75% of executive Women have reported having personally experienced it. **
Everyone may not be equipped with the resources to turn around negative self-talk and availing opportunities they think they are capable of.
We as leaders should learn to keep our eyes peeled for shoots of confidence and stretch that need just that little bit of nurturing.
Ready or not, let the shoots grow into their potential.
Just like we founders, ready or not, grow into ours.
